Liam,
Damn it, Ive been doing so well with you going to Heaven. I have tried to control my emotions and not let them get to me until.....today. I had training for work today and on the way home I somehow ended up driving past Magee Woman's Hospital. The last place that I carried you in my belly, the place where I had to give you up, the place where you lay resting....FUCKKKKKK I'm so angry right now. I haven't felt this way in a few weeks....and i'm more pissed that i'm so upset. I love you more than anything and I know that I made the right choice, the choice to save you from pain, but it really fucking hurts, it hurts more than anything in this world....I needed you and wanted you, but that could not happen. I'm angry for all the "what ifs" and I'm sad because I never got to meet you or watch you grow up, I'm fucking pissed because you are all I ever wanted and I couldn't have you.
I really really miss you Liam Daniel and people can wonder why or how, but until somebody is a parent that loses a child for any reason, they will not understand and as far as being your mommy, I was supposed to protect you and take care of you while you resided in my belly, but I couldn't and I didn't.
I will cry through the pain and I will continue to hold you in my heart for I never got to hold you in my arms, but that doesn't change my love for you, my everlasting love. <3 p="">
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